take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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