Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
