I have demons in me.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
