I think my fart just growled at me.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
