this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
