is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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