i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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