did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
