Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
