If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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