What a fucking waste of an outfit
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
