I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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