Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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