she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
