I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
