chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
