We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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