New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
