Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
