you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
