she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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