Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
