Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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