I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
