your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
