this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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