hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
