Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
