do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
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