is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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