you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
