My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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