I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
