why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
