That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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