I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
