found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
