Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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