Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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