I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Ketchup is God's man juice
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
