So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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