i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Randomize
