youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
