just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
