..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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