I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
don't judge my taste in strippers
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize