Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
