Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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