Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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