I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
