i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
