I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
